In this post: We’re talking about changing the belief cycle (when we say we want something but fear takes over)
The BEST way to change your beliefs is always to receive coaching, but first, you need to choose to BELIEVE enough in yourself to receive that.
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How to Change Your Belief Cycle - Especially When Fear Takes Over
I assisted a beautiful lady today and she was asking me about belief and how I learned to believe in myself when I first started out. Many of you probably have heard my story. She was saying, "Well, you shared that you struggled to get clients as a health coach for nine months. You lost all your self-belief or your self-esteem, everything. What did it take to switch that?" And it was an interesting question.
I was feeling into the chicken and the egg of belief. How do we work through our beliefs, when we're not feeling confident but want to be successful? I think there's a twofold piece to that. And I thought I would share a little teaching which is something I teach in the UPswing Mastermind.
When I was struggling to get my clients as a health coach, I guess there was a piece inside of me that did believe. Even though I was losing my confidence, even though I'd been trying for nine, 10 months doing all the things I thought you were supposed to do — I was making the website, I was making the graphics. I was doing things on social media. I felt like I was doing the things and yet never got a paying client in that first nine to 10 months.
Even when I felt that down there was still a piece of me that did believe. Otherwise, I just would have given up and cried. I wouldn't have been trying to follow mentors, trying to work this out, trying to read the books, trying to suss it out. I was trying.
It's two aspects: one, a piece of me believed that I could do this and wanted it at a soul level. Two, then the monkey mind level started freaking out and going into panic and going into fear and telling all the stories of it's not possible.
So what does it take when we say we need to believe that we're going to have success to get to success? How do we turn that around?
It can feel a bit philosophical, but personally, I think the two reasons that I had the belief to keep going — where I invested in coaching, got mentoring, understood there were other ways to do this that weren't taught in the health coaching schools. And what did it take for me to have that belief to even invest, even saying, "I can do this" is one, there was an internal voice that did know that I wanted to do this and did believe in myself, even if others weren't reflecting that back.
The second piece actually came the bigger belief, if I'm honest. And I was only just reflecting on this morning, if I'm really honest, that major belief actually came from my coach. It actually came from someone believing in me. It's like a temporary crutch, I guess in hindsight, she actually believed in me more than I did at that time. She saw me as a success. She saw me where I wanted to go. Cause that told her where I wanted to go. And even though I had all the freakouts and the "What if I can't do this going on", she saw me there. And that's how our relationship kicked off.
The belief cycle starts at the top. It dictates everything in our life. So what happens with our beliefs? All our beliefs create our thoughts and our thoughts run the show.
Our thoughts are something like 80, 90% exactly the same ones we had time and time again every day. So whatever we believe around ourselves, around money, around work, around working hard, around health coaching, all these are the beliefs that we have create the thoughts that run the show all day, every day.
What do I mean by run the show? Well, depending on the thought pattern you have right now, that will dictate the action that you take. And so it starts a cycle. The action that you take is dictated purely by thought.
Here's an example when someone was asking me about investing in my coaching:
Belief - I would never be a success.
Thought - "I can't do this. I'll never be a success"
Action- Will not join the coaching program.
If I believed that I would never be a success, then I would be thinking I'll never be a success. Then I wouldn't have taken the action to join that coaching program back in 2012.
Some of us have conflicting thoughts, like a stop-go man at the same time. We say, we want something but we don't. So we need to get our beliefs and thoughts in place because what happens once you take an action, whatever that action is created by your thoughts is going to create your behaviours. Your daily behaviours and habits are created by the action and the thoughts.
But here's the thing with this cycle — it is designed to prove itself right. It's quite an egotistical process, like the mind versus the soul.
We're human beings and we like to be right and we want to prove ourselves, right? Whatever thought pattern you have, this whole process plays out to prove you right. Let's say, you've got a thought pattern that you can't make money as a health coach. You will take the actions that match that, your behaviours are unlikely to look like that of somebody who wants to be a successful health coach and what are you going to get — the fourth piece in the cycle, your results. Your results come from your daily behaviours and actions. And these results are chemically, biologically designed to have to prove your thought process right. That's the only way it can work.
Once you entered this cycle, it's very, very hard to change. If anyone's tried to change a behaviour or an action or a result, and they didn't first have the thought pattern, it's near impossible.
I'm not sure if it is impossible, but it's very, very, very hard. If we try to leave at any of these points, once you're in the cycle, that just goes round and round and round and round and round all day, every day. We call these "thought rats". Like there's a tall, green grass ahead of me. And through the middle, there's been a path mowed out. And every day you walk to work through the path, you're not going to go through the tall grass. You just go down the path, because that's what's easy. Of course, you do that. So you go down this path, it's easy.
The brain does the same thing every day. It just finds the path of least resistance, taps into what you've always believed, tapped into what you've always thought. And you will continue to always do the same actions, behaviours, results. That's how it works.
However, if you chose in that big field of grass, just to take a two-millimetre path that is different on your thoughts, we don't have to be like, "Hey, I'm a different person", and you were willing to do a bit of work to cut down the grass as you go. I know that we can get a bit lazy and we just want to go the easy path. But if we just go two millimetres in a different direction and we just cut down the grass, by the time we go to that two-millimetre direction, we end up in a completely different place in life, a completely different outcome.
I remember Tony Robbins teaching me that particular thing back in 2008. I can absolutely attest to that, one of the many things that have led me to where I am today, to be able to teach all of this work. But a two-millimetre change just takes a little bit extra work. If you just think, "I'm gonna go to the gym", well, that's not going to do anything, is it? Because if you have the thought pattern, "There's no point because it's not going to happen quick enough. And I'm not going to change my body", then you're not going to take the action. You're not going to do the behaviours. You're not going to get the body. And then the thought is going to continue to say, "See, I'm lazy. You see going to the gym, doesn't work. See, I'm not an exercise person. See, I don't have great health."
Whereas if your thought pattern was "Going to the gym each day is going to absolutely get me my health, get me my body. And you want that," then you take the action, you'll go to the gym. You won't be looking after your first gym session and going, "Wow, I got no muscles." You'll be like, "Yeah, I keep going and keep going." Because now remember, this runs itself once you're in. So we all know that difference, right? When we've made a change, your belief, "I'm going to get in shape", or maybe "I'm going to end a relationship", or maybe "I'm going to leave my job" or whatever that is it takes for that belief and thought process.
Sometimes we hold on to the old beliefs and thoughts for dear life, determined that if we try hard enough at any of these points, maybe somehow life will change. And we sit here six or 12 months later, nothing's changed.
So there are a number of ways that we create change. And that comes from the belief system. This is the same reason why I won't sell self-study marketing courses because all the marketing steps may be there, but will people take action? Some people won't believe in themselves enough to take action in the first place. Or they'll buy a self-study e-course worth a thousand dollars or something. And then the reason that when they start doing the steps then it "Doesn't work" is because they don't actually put it into place because they don't think it's going to work.
There are so many hundreds of thousands of reasons that we get that resistance.
That's exactly why in UPswing Mastermind, I work at this deeper level to help you reprogram. I don't think there'd be a woman who's been through the UPswing Mastermind, who would not say that she's a different woman at the other end of the program because of the belief cycle. I teach you how to do this yourself and with your clients. What we're doing is rewiring your identity, who you are today. You have a story about it. I've spoken to a number of ladies in the last few weeks in preparation for joining the UPswing Mastermind, and many ladies will tell me about what they want, they'd say:
"I want financial freedom."
"I want to make $5,000 a month."
"I want to leave my job."
There are so many different variations of that. Then I'd say "Oh great! Okay, so if I give you this money right now, here's the $5,000 for next month, what are you going to do with that?", almost every woman that I've asked freezes or giggles or gets awkward. And that's how I test. That's how I know if they currently believe it's possible for them.
A lady that I did this with last week went away and made $3,000 this week. She was giggling awkwardly at me because there can be phrases and identities where we believe things like:
"I always struggle."
"I always just scraped by."
"I want that, but it only works for others."
You'll even see me share story after story of women, who've gone through this process and rewire this for themselves. And you'll still hold onto stories, thoughts, and beliefs that this is for other people, not for someone like me.
The process of creating your business and being able to step forward and take action, whether that's taking action to join something like the UPswing Mastermind or to keep taking action on going on any materials, whether that's my course or any course comes down to belief in yourself, comes down to belief in yourself. I've watched this time and time and time again, people are telling me they want to make money, but they don't believe it. So then not taking action.
Now let's play this out. You believe that you have a purpose in this work. You believe in health coaching. You believe that other people who will benefit from health coaching will want to pay you. You believe that you can make a great career doing what you love. You have that belief system. What are your thoughts going to be? What action are you going to take? Whether you choose to join a high intensive coaching program like the UPswing Mastermind comes down to largely, do you believe in yourself?
Side note: I joined a $20,000 mastermind a few years ago, and by joining that mastermind, my business went from making $35,000 a year to $350,000 a year. But it wasn't the program. If I'm really honest, the biggest transformation was me believing that I belonged in that room. For me to put down the $20,000 and believe I had to first believe and trust myself and back myself that I was going to do it. Once I was in the room, there's an identity shift. And of course, everybody sees you in that way. The coach sees you as someone who's making $20,000. That's one way that beliefs can shift, by who you surround yourself with.
When you surround yourself with people who have the beliefs that you want, that believe in you, that's one of the key pieces.
And that is definitely for me how I got to my first 5k month and then continued through that year or so where my business was, largely leaning on the belief of my coach until I believed it myself.
Another way we can do that is to sit down with a journal and realize there's no point having something on your vision board that you want if you don't currently believe it. Choose to change that belief, whatever that belief might be for you. It simply comes down to belief.
There's a lot of research out there now on this matter. This isn't just a spiritual level coaching technique but also a quantum physics level. This has been proven now that what you choose to believe and focus on creates this cycle. It's science.
There'll be a different outcome from someone who sits here right now with the following...
Belief - "I'm going to make this work as a health coach."
Thoughts - "What do I need to do? I need to get support. I need to get coaching. I need to work through all this stuff that's in the way."
Action - Get support.
Behaviour - Implementing the learnings.
Result - Profitable health coaching business.
Whereas someone else who might be sitting next to you right now who has this...
Belief - "Making money as a health coach is a fantasy."
Thoughts - "This probably won't work. It probably works for other people. Not me. I don't know if I believe in this."
Action - No action.
Behaviour - Same old habits.
Result - None.
You can see the difference, right? One feels solid. One feels clean and powerful. The other is messy. It's like a radio frequency freaking out and they'll end up taking no action. There will be no behaviours and habits to be learned. And they will proudly prove themselves right with their results that this doesn't work. And that's how it works.
I'm giving this example because the lady this morning asked me to explain. I was like, I'm going to write about it and share it with everyone whether you're getting support or growing your business. This is something that we work through on every level.
I'll try to give some more examples. If you don't believe that you can make good money doing what you love, what's going to happen to this cycle? If you believe that a relationship is going to change as a result of your success, you might think "I might burn out, I might leave my job. Like I might have to stick doing this." All these beliefs are what runs the show. There are always positive and negative beliefs in everything. So how do you change this belief?
Have other people, almost like a midwife for you, for a while. Also, remember you can find positive and negative beliefs in everything and you choose to focus on the positive. You will create the reality based on what you focus on. And that is your choice. That is the choice of each and every one of us as humans on earth today, we have that power.
We have the power to choose the path we want to go on. Do we go down that same track, the same action, the same result we've always had, or do we choose to lift a few more weights and go the two-millimetre change and get the different outcome?
So my invitation for you, if you would like my coaching this year, and if you're someone who's like, "I do want this but I'm just sitting in fear." Then I invite you today to sit down with a journal, sit down with a piece of paper and look at what your beliefs are. Are you believing in yourself? Are you acting like a 5k woman? Are you acting as your highest self would or are you acting from fear?
Love,
Amanda xx
PS. Ready to create a purposeful package in your coaching business - and learn how to charge in a way that gets clients booked in with ease? Click this link to get instant access to the FREE training >> https://training.amandajdaley.com/packages
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